Beyond Reason

Blonde Superheros

Posted in Pure Nonsense by Abigail on November 21, 2006

I’m obviously eminently suited for pop culture analysis. (I’m still trying to determine if the Fresh Prince of Bell Air is a musician or TV show). And I have a rhetorical question to ask:

Has there ever been a convincing blonde superhero?

No!! There hasn’t! (I couldn’t help it – I just couldn’t help it.) So who came up with the blonde Bond? James Bond can’t be effective with blonde hair! Here’s the crux of the matter: you just can’t take blondes seriously. As I’ve just opened a can of worms and jumped inside, let me say that I love my blonde friends – nothing against them. But I couldn’t imagine any of them as superheroes. Steve H, on the other hand, is a superhero waiting to happen. It’s the brown hair. I’m probably a superhero waiting to happen too. You never know. I would have the skill of… talking too much… and losing all my friends…

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the closest thing I could think of to a blonde superhero, a republican blonde superhero at that. There are Charlie’s Angels but they are NOT superheroes. They’re in some classification all by themselves and they can stay there. Storm, well she’s not much of a superhero either, or very blonde. Just mostly white.

So, case in point. I win. There are no convincing blonde superheroes. The new James Bond movie will be a flop.


12 Responses to 'Blonde Superheros'

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  1. Joel R. said,

    You forgot about Supergirl. She’s a blonde. There are some lesser superheroes as well… umm. .as far as men.. yeah, that’s a bit harder to do. Maybe Professor X was blonde before losing his hair?

  2. Amanda Lucarini said,

    Um, does Luke Skywalker count? Because of his Jedi power he could be considered a superhero, and I’m pretty sure he’s blonde (or at least strawberry blonde).

    PS Amanda Laine- this is the first time I’ve ever responded to somebody’s blog, so see what your efforts have gleaned already?

    Amanda Lynn

  3. Steve H. said,

    Yeah, that Steve H. guy ROCKS! Definitely blonde-bombshell superhero potential there! Blushing I made the blog… 🙂


  4. amandalaine said,

    Luke Skywalker! How could I forget! I might ban myself from my own blog. I’m embarassed. Good point Amanda. And by the way, thanks for posting! I am thrilled that my insightful pop-culture analysis has inspired such responses. (I was kind of afraid this post my get more attention than the philosophy one…)

    Steve – you’re killing me. 🙂 Absolustly killing me. Yes, you do rock. You actually made my first two posts. Perhaps you are a theological superhero… a conconction I just created. 🙂 You excel in … oratorical genius, insightful statemet making (I ran out of big words), and brown-headedness – all important qualities of the theological superhero.

  5. amandalaine said,

    I have made a dastardly error. There are two Steve H’s in my life.
    Perhaps I should go by middle names…
    To both of my Steve H friends – one blonde and the other brown haired – you are BOTH superheros waiting to happen!
    … sorry for the confusion.
    In the future, Steve H, the single one, will be referred to as “the single one” and Steve H, the married one, will be referred to as “the married one.”
    Wait, that’s terrible. Let me try again. I’ll refer to the single one as Steve G H and the married one as Steve D H (incorporating middle names). Good?

    The one who posted above is Steve D H, blonde Steve.

  6. Steven P said,

    To many Steve’s… So confused. Who am I? Ohh, none of the above 🙂

  7. Chris Gruber said,

    Thor and Aquaman.

  8. Chris Gruber said,

    Captain America, Green Arrow, Sue Storm, Johnny Storm, the Flash. Just for your reference.

  9. amandalaine said,

    Wow, thank you! You seem to be expert on Blonde Superheros. 🙂

    Yeah, I also thought of Mr. Invincible (from The Invincibles).

    But, a blonde Bond? It still doesn’t work for me.

  10. Larry said,

    OK…do a search for Dave Draper.

  11. Oleg said,

    Well, here is my opinion on the new Bond film if it matters for anyone.

    As someone already said, this new Bond is “leaner and meaner”, which I liked. The new blonde hair and blue eyed character played by Daniel Craig actually works for me. He looks youthful, yet seasoned enough.

    I’d like to have Mr. Bond’s parkour capabilities and healing powers. The foot chase scene in Africa was quite entertaining with lots of jumps from various rather large heights and climbing on vertical walls. Quite amazing how one’s body can tolerate such abuse.

    Another example: after a stairwell fight with an African villain, Bond had some cuts and bleeding on his face and body. Yet, a few minutes later he appeared spotless at the game table. However, Bond is not invincible. I’m sure that all men watching the torture scene could literally feel the pain he went through.

    Bond girl: Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) – she looks cute, and again Bond learns the lesson to trust no one.

    One last comment: the movie has noticeable amount of embedded advertising. I wonder how much Sony and Ford Motor Company paid for this.

  12. Jai said,

    Good call on Thor, Capt America (so used to the blue suit) and Green Arrow… I’d relayed the others to Amanda in conversation, but had Daredevil (I think the original Matthew Murdoch was blonde too, wasn’t he).

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